she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
