I swear she didn't look like that last week.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
