I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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