so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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