my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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