Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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