Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
