It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
