I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
