forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
