I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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