Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
