ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
