Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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