Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
