The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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