Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
