it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
