look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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