How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
