My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
