Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize