By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
