great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
smell my finger.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
