Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
