K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
