last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
