maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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