Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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