i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
