I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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