Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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