I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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