so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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