I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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