the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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