??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
