Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
