everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
