I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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