your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
