Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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