my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
