Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
