it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
