id be glad to
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
