My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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