I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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