I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
