Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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