i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize