What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
