That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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