i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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