Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
