I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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