I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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